Dating as a Millennial in 2024

Ghetto! Trash! Awful!  

These are three words that millennials use to describe dating today. In conversations with this demographic, oftentimes, I hear, “I hate dating,” “girl, he did not want to pay for my meal on the first date,” “she only wants me to spend money,” and “he/she ghosted me.”

In a Facebook post, I asked people in their late 20s, 30s, and 40s to share their experiences about dating.

The themes that surfaced from this discussion were: Social Media and the Impact on Dating, Unrealistic Expectations, and Authenticity.

Social Media and the Impact on Dating

In the age of DMs, likes, and swipes, it is no secret that social media has an impact on dating.  Social media for purposes of this article includes Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok. These platforms are used for people to post their personal lives and share experiences with the world while receiving compliments through likes, comments, and messages. Some people choose to share who they are dating and about their dating experiences on their social media. This can cause conflict due to outsiders offering their opinions based on a post or a 20-second video clip. Another negative impact of social media is that people think they have many options to choose from. Now meeting people online is not a bad thing, but if you compare people you connect with to others then it can cause problems and unrealistic expectations.

Unrealistic Expectations

Another theme that stands out is Unrealistic Expectations. There is nothing wrong with having expectations in dating and relationships. It becomes a problem when people are expected to be perfect as it relates to things that they see on social media or discuss within their friend groups.

For example: “Based on what I see on social media from how lavish and extravagant dates can get, I may ask the person interested in dating me to take me to a Michelin star restaurant along with providing money for clothing for the first date.” This is an unrealistic expectation. Another unrealistic expectation is expecting the person you are dating to read your mind. Communication is important and necessary for dating to work.

Authenticity

What happened to being yourself?  When dating, it is important to show up as yourself and not put on a facade of what you think the person wants you to be. In the Facebook discussion, one of the comments shared was that people are not taking the time to invest in themselves to know what they are looking for. This comment stood out to me because I think it is important to know who you are, your values, and your goals to meet someone who is like-minded.

Dating can be complicated. Back in the March edition, I highlighted two couples and their Black love journey. A few things that come to mind from my interviews with them are to keep God first and to make sure you like the person. I know, liking the person seems self-explanatory but you would you be surprised.

Now onto the next topic in this dating series Online Dating… stay tuned.

If you want more articles on this topic, let me know at lifestyle@starofzion.org.